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Hidden in Plain Sight - Healing from Darker Abuse


Warning - this blogpost contains sensitive content. During the jubilee weekend in June, I felt called to sit with a sign and candle on the street to remember the many children who have been abused in ritual - it is a widespread crime which has gone on for centuries and been widely covered up by secret societies including dark freemasonic groups, Satanic or black magic sects, the elites and those in authority who have been abusing their power. Now more and more are speaking about the prolific abuse happening in our society and the 'false power' taken by people through practising rituals or ceremonies involving sexual abuse, torture, humiliation or blood sacrifice - these rituals may also include objects, symbols, words, masks and may invoke demonic beings.


Kept Silent

As I sat on the street, a man eventually approached me and shared his story - he had been sexually abused as a child 'sacrifice' by a freemasonic group and his family had been forced into silence - he was the payoff for his family to be left alone. There are many methods used to keep individuals or families quiet - threats of violence or murder, money payouts, manipulation, fear of being disbelieved etc.. During my time living in Glastonbury, I have heard many stories unfortunately of ritual abuse in which children (or animals) have had their power taken away - or people have attempted to do so.

'Melencolia I' by Albrecht Dürer


Animal Sacrifices

Animal sacrifices are still happening - there is a bookshop in Glastonbury full of Satanic and black magic books detailing rituals involving animal sacrifice - I have walked down the high street and heard a man talking about sacrificing a goat and needing a stick of hazel from a tree which has not yet born fruit. I have walked past a forest and been told by a local about strange things happening in there by local witches. Yet everything in this universe has a karmic consequence and hopefully as more awaken, they will realise the importance of their thoughts and actions and how these impact others and their own vibration. Some may find these accounts fantastical and dismiss them as wild conspiracy theories - or label those who speak up as experiencing 'false memories.' But have you seen evidence of a totally 'healthy' society? Are you really certain that strange and weird things aren't happening that are deeply affecting people psychologically? Would it be fair to say that it could be quite easy for some people in authority (churches, hospitals, schools, nurseries, police, government) to abuse children at young ages and get away with it? The grown adult, without expertise, may struggle to put the jigsaw puzzle pieces back together. Many have experienced soul loss or soul fragmentation without even being aware of it - they may have been forced to hide aspects of themselves or closed off access to their memories. Yet the body always keeps the score - I have written a blog piece about somatic (bodily) memories for those who are interested in researching this area more.

Abuse from Elite Circles

More are speaking up about these kinds of cases including Elijah Wood who spoke up about child sexual abuse in Hollywood in 2016.

""There is darkness in the underbelly,” he added. “If you can imagine it, it’s probably happened.”

The actor said he felt that such crimes continue to be unpunished because the victims “can’t speak as loudly as people in power”. “That’s the tragedy of attempting to reveal what is happening to innocent people. They can be squashed, but their lives have been irreparably damaged.” From this article on the Guardian. Christopher Lee (who played the character Saruman in Lord of the Rings) responded with the following after being accused of having a huge collection of black magic books: "I have 'The Devil Rides Out', first edition, signed to me by Dennis Wheatley. There's a book that's just come out about him, called 'The Devil is a Gentleman' and I have met people who claimed to be Satanists, who claimed to be involved with black magic, who claimed that they not only knew a lot about it but as I've said I certainly haven't been involved and I warn all of you, never, never, never - you will not only lose your mind, you will lose your soul."

Others have also attempted to speak up about elite child abuse rings including Brian Harvey who spoke about abuse in the music industry in 2015 after smashing up his platinum records in protest. He worked with some politicians to share his own findings: "A government probe into child abuse, prompted by allegations of a VIP paedophile ring including MPs and other public figures, has faced several hurdles since it was launched. Two members of the panel were recently forced to step down after being accused of sending insulting letters to victims who criticised the inquiry." From this article on NME.

Ancient Patterns The psychic Janine did a recent channeling of Madeleine McCann and received the message of it being connected with ritual abuse - a ritual which was ancient and I have met others who received similar messages regarding her abduction.


Burney relief (1800–1750 BC) - thought to depict Lilith.

'Child sacrifice' is an ancient aspect of our collective psyche - Lilith, who was Adam's first wife, was known as a child-killer in ancient Aramaic texts and culture - her male counterpart, the fallen being Samael demonstrated a similar energy in the mythology and also attempted to tempt Eve in the garden in some myths - these archetypes are ancient and it is vital to become conscious of them and transform their wounded energy - to evolve, rather than to judge. In his book, ‘Lilith: the First Eve,’ Siegmund Hurwitz wrote the following: “Within Jewish mythology, Lilith – as we have ascertained – belongs to the group of demons or Shedim....In fact, a sacrificial altar to the Shedim existed for a long time alongside the YHWH cult, although the prophets constantly tried to combat this and to retain the priority of the belief in YHWH. This is demonstrated in particular by the passage from Deuteronomy which reads: “They sacrificed unto Shedim, not to God; To gods whom they knew not, To new gods that came newly up, Whom your fathers feared not.” “Such human sacrifices were quite customary throughout the entire Orient. Even the firstborn was commonly offered as a sacrifice. Even today, the rite of “the ransom of the firstborn son” (pidjon ha’ben) by the wife – never by the husband – by means of a sum of money paid to a priest, is reminiscent of the sacrifice to the deities. To what extent the actual sacrifice of the firstborn was carried out in ancient Israel is a matter of dispute.”

An 18th-century illustration of a wicker man from A Tour in Wales written by Thomas Pennant.

Child sacrifices were offered to ancient gods in many other cultures across the world including the Aztec, the Mayan, the Minoan culture in ancient Crete and in African witchcraft - and possibly druid culture (a killed child was found at Woodhenge) and the Romans wrote accounts of human and animal sacrifices of the Celts. We have seen sacrifices on large scales (school-shootings or wars for example) and ex-Satanic priest Mark Passio talks about this topic in great depth for those who are interested more about this - the video can be found here. But Why is this Happening? It is a form of 'energy vampirism' and we all participate in this to some degree unconsciously - the key is to become aware of our shadow and how it tries to steal energy or attention from others and become dependent upon them. We can learn to cultivate our own energy instead through meditation, energy practises such as qi gong or yoga, exercise or spiritual activities such as sound healing or walking and grounding in the forest or taking a swim. I would highly recommend reading the following article for those who would like to learn more about their energy body and how to become aware of when you are taking energy from others or having your own energy taken and how to cultivate your own energy which you can consciously share with yourself and others, from a firm sense of identity. Documentaries


There are several documentaries on this subject area of survivor's accounts for those who are interested in learning more about this subject area. As someone who has experienced childhood sexual abuse, I have found it to be very cathartic to hear the stories of others. Anneke Lucas's story of being sold into an elite child sexual abuse circle which involved human sacrifice Teresa's account of a Satanic cult and ritual abuse including animal and human sacrifice. "I believe Teresa's story, it's exactly the same story as I've heard from men who've said they've done it," said sex crime expert Ray Wyre who had dealt with 21 similar cases in the past two years since making that interview. A very recent (June 2022) documentary about Satanic ritual abuse. In this incredible documentary, sex abuse survivor Mary Knight speaks with the author of 'The Body keeps the Score', Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, who shared the following: "Our head is only 1/7th of our whole organism and our frontal lobe where we have any thoughts is only 1/4 of that. The function of the brain is to take care of the body and so when you get traumatised, everything in your survival brain (which is about half of your brain) gets set to be worried about survival and that's all expressed in bodily sensations and the next part of your brain is involved in communicating a map of the world and so as your brain forms, you don't know anything about what's going on out there and that part of the brain, you could call it the limbic system... creates a map of what's going on out there and how I react to it and tells you what is safe and what is dangerous...and so that is a hard-wired map of your brain. Your early experiences determine that map of your brain, so if people beat you up, and tell you that you're a rotten kid, that map of the world is 'I'm a rotten person, I'm a terrible person and the world is an unsafe place' - extremely difficult to change - these are hard-wired parts of the brain - and our job of my profession is to find out how we can rewire these very primitive maps...the brain scans show that the verbal language centre of the brain gets knocked out when people become extremely upset. From the very first moment I started to see traumatised people, the issue of people not remembering or just seeing images, just having feelings was very prominent and I wrote about it...I started to write about Vietnam veterans, that these memories were really very different from the movie you saw yesterday and that was really fascinating that the language centre of the brain shuts down or that memory starts to become complicated and that memory of trauma is different."

Brain Research It is believed from research on brain scans during the reactivations of traumatic memories that trauma often creates excessive activity in the right hemisphere where we experience emotions. When traumatic memories are reactivated, the left frontal lobe shuts down, which is the area of the brain which puts feelings into words and a location in time and the thalamus also shuts down which is the area of the brain which integrates the raw data of sensations. Traumatic memories can become repressed or suppressed into the unconscious and not reveal themselves to us years later after the event when it is safe for the nervous system to finally process them. But, like Dr Bessel van der Kolk, although challenging, I believe it is possible to rewire the brain and have found positive results on a spiritual path - through Reiki meditation and the power of positive visualisation with my memories. "As we begin to talk more publicly about it, as we get to discuss it more...to educate, so that people have a better understanding, so that someone won't say to a 35 year old who's just beginning to have to go back and remember what happened to her, 'get over it, why are you bringing it up now, this happened 30 years ago.' This is textbook. Almost all of us are between 35 and 50 when we have to go back and do the healing work and once we understand that, once we know that that's normal - I didn't know that was normal. I didn't know that anybody ever got through - I checked myself into a psychiatric ward. I just thought does anyone ever get through this? I couldn't find any woman who did and it's one of the reasons why I stepped forward. It's one of the reasons why I wrote a book, is because yes, you can get through it." Shared Marilyn Van Derbur, in Mary Knight's documentary, who was former Miss America and a survivor of childhood sexual abuse from her father.

I found Mary Knight's documentary fascinating - Mary interviewed many advocates of the 'false memory' theory who deny many sexual abuse allegations from repressed memories on the grounds of believing that false memories can be created by therapists by suggestibility. Yet none of the experts in the documentary seemed to have any clear knowledge about brain or memory research and how memory responds to trauma. Two of the 'false memory' advocates also made concerning statements which seemed to 'make light of' or even dismiss the effects of this very destructive behaviour concerning sexual abuse in childhood which current research has shown can cause devastation in the psychology.

Image from 'The Body Keeps the Score'

For those interested in learning more about the return of repressed memories, you may wish to see the work of Dr Ross Cheit of Brown University and his project, the Recovered Memory Archive and recent brain research is aiding us to learn more about how memory really functions. "For a quarter of a century, the concept of “false memories” has provided a scientific fig leaf for sceptics of child sexual abuse allegations. The “false memory” argument is deceptively simple: children and adults are prone to invent false memories of child sexual abuse that never occurred, particularly if encouraged by a therapist or some other authority figure.

So-called “recovered memories”, in which adults recall sexual abuse in childhood after a period of amnesia, have been a particular focus of disbelief. In fact, scientific studies find that children are far less suggestible than we have been led to believe. Brain imaging studies have identified the neurological mechanisms involved in the process of forgetting and then recalling sexual abuse as an adult. Delayed disclosure and amnesia are now understood as normal coping mechanisms in response to abuse." From the following Guardian article.

The Power Within

We now have the opportunity to heal ourselves from this 'sacrifice' pattern - it is deep in our psychology but we have the power to change it. We may sacrifice our time, energy, blood, sweat and tears in order to gain love, approval or validation - but we don't need to. The gods of the past who needed sacrifices don't need to be our gods. It is a pattern we have the power to clear and heal. We can enjoy our journey without needing to sacrifice any part of ourselves for the gift of walking our true path.

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